The very needed attitude of verifying

In today's fast paced and ruthless world, people usually tend to agree with the stated without any questioning of the fact. When the sales guy in the saree shop shows a 9 yards saree and says it is 9 yards, you trust his word and choose the design and colour to buy. When the investment deposit form says Rs.25000 invested at 13.32% p.a. gets you Rs. 41650 in 5 years, you trust the calculation. When shop sales guy says the table I am interested in is 4 by 3 feet, one tends to strike a match with our requirements in mind and move to other factors.

But, in days of ignorance, marketing and plain lies, you should not trust what you hear on the face of it. In the first instance, when my mom came home and tried the saree, it was 8 yards, not the nine the shopkeeper confirmed it was. His defence on returning, everything we sell is 8 yards as 9 yards. Do look at the below picture: a part of the deposit form from Shriram Transport Finance Company Ltd.: 

Turns out the actual rate of interest in the cumulative option of 5 years is 10.75% p.a.compounded annually, not the high 13.34% p.a. by which I was actually attracted to the scheme (13.34% is simple interest and why would any sane person look for simple interest in a cumulative scheme?). In the third case, the table shown to be was actually 4 by 2.5ft and not 4 by 3 ft. It looked suspicious measuring it by my eye and I asked for a tape to measure it. It was only 2.5 ft by width. The sales guy only had a sheepish smile to respond with.

Such are the various cases of buying in today's world. It usually was in finance, a phrase called "Buyers beware", but in today's case, almost every single fellow is up to tricks fooling customers.

The concept of trust cannot be blindly held. A more sane logic of he is the expert of things and we should trust him also does not find meaning nowadays. The shopkeeper knows that the worst case for him is that he will have to reverse the sale or better, exchange it when they complain. There is a perverse upside to the seller at the cost of the buyer. There are not many ways to get over it as of now, except to be aware and verify things, however untrustworthy you may seem to be.

A mandatory pain in their arse sanity check is necessary before buying to prevent a pain in your arse at a later point in time.

Extreme product development/marketing

Look at the two pictures:

What did you think it was? Liquid chocolate and strawberry syrup? You would be forgiven to think that. That is what I thought it was when I first saw this. Coloured shapely bottles with pictures of two tweens on it. I opened and smelled it and found the smell of chocolate and strawberry syrups respectively. But what was surprising was the brand name on it: Parachute advansed. Parachute brand is the most popular cocunut oil brand which is mainly used as a hair oil(and also for cooking). Ok, so I assumed Parachute has entered the edible eateries segment with syrups. But advansed is like a technology used for refining the hair products for specific use. Just to be sure, I read what the product actually was. Turns out it was shampoo.

Almost 99% of the people would have thought it to be something other than a shampoo(with the word shampoo written in such small words on the bottle)

Lets look at the consequences: How will a parent convince a three or four year old that the product the kid is demanding to eat is not an eatable in the first place. It looks like a delicious eatable, smells like one too. Big trouble ahead for parents!

What suppose the parent adds this 'syrup' on a home made cake or on an icecream/milkshake and gives it to the kid? I wonder if the company is going to get sued for making kids ill...

Since the marketers are "always" "trying" to make things "easy" and "convenient" for the consumers, why not they come up with a product which can be used for multiple purposes? Say you get up, and brush your teeth with this product as a toothpaste, then squeeze out some more of this stuff and use it as a soap, wash off and then apply some more on the body and let it dry working as a moisturiser. Then scoop some more and apply onto the bread and enjoy a delicious sandwich on way to the office. Won't such a many-in-one product "delight" customers?

Consumers can then need not have to remember so many things to buy when they go to a supermarket. Things will be more easily manageble. From cleaning the shelf of the bathroom that has on the average 3 to 5 or more different products to not throwing away unused product since it has reached the expiry data as it will be used frequently. A frequent traveller can slip in one of these many-in-one products into the travel bag and not have to worry to find the many things as used currently running across the house to just pack a bag. Maybe consolidation of products is the next level/generation of marketing and product development in particular for the marketers. The irony of this game is that fewer marketers would be required when this is done. A true revolution!

Marketing ideas

I think I have a couple of marketing ideas for the FMCG segment and for opticians which are yet to hit the market (atleast in India)

Considering the fact that around 70% of Indians eat non-veg, I think non-veg flavoured chips will do great business in India. Think Butter Chicken chips, Prawn chips and various fish flavoured chips. 

Instead of Fish & Chips, one can now have Fish In Chips :D

Considering that foreign markets have non-veg flavoured chips, I wonder what is taking the Indian market so long. I think the time will come soon.

One more idea I have been thinking which is yet to hit the market is spectacles for which the frames /sides can be changed based on the occasion/dress colour. Something of the plug the frame/side and wear type.

Hello marketing people, are you alive?

Apple school

Ad seen on a Breach Candy bus stop:

A great differentiator indeed! But is it secretly selecting only rich kids? Can an Apple enabled learner be better at studies?

Why I hate (many) Marketers

From when did babies start having 3 different life STAGES? I thought babies/kids was one life stage.

Lets see how Johnson's does it:

Three Life stages:

New born, Baby & Toddler.

New Born:

Head to toe baby wash, Baby lotion, Baby shampoo, Baby oil, Head to Toe foaming wash, Head to Toe fragrance free baby lotion.

Baby:

Baby Lotion, HEAD-TO-TOE^® Baby Wash, Baby Powder, Moisture Care Baby Wash, Baby Bar, BEDTIME^® Bath, BEDTIME^® Baby Bubble Bath & Wash, Baby Bubble Bath & Wash, Vanilla Oatmeal Baby Wash, Soothing Vapor Baby Bath, Honey Apple Baby Wash, Baby Cream, BEDTIME^® Lotion, Shea & Cocoa Butter Baby Lotion, Vanilla Oatmeal Baby Lotion, Baby Lotion with Aloe Vera & Vitamin E, Baby Daily Face & Body Lotion SPF 40, Baby Shampoo with Natural Lavender, Baby Oil with Aloe Vera & Vitamin E, Baby Oil Lavender, Baby Oil Gel, Baby Oil Gel with Shea and Cocoa Butter, Baby Oil Gel with Aloe Vera & Vitamin E, Baby Creamy Oil Cocoa & Shea Butter, Baby Creamy Oil Aloe Vera & Vitamin E, Baby Powder Calming Lavender & Chamomile, Baby Powder Medicated with Aloe & Vitamin E Medicated, Baby Powder Pure Cornstarch with Aloe Vera & Vitamin E, Baby Cologne.

Toddler:

Baby Powder, Baby Bar, BEDTIME^® Bath, BEDTIME^® Baby Bubble Bath & Wash, Baby Bubble Bath & Wash, Soothing Vapor Baby Bath, Honey Apple Baby Wash, Baby Lotion, Baby Daily Face & Body Lotion SPF 40, NO MORE TANGLES^® Shampoo, NO MORE TANGLES^® Extra Conditioning Shampoo, NO MORE TANGLES^® Detangling Spray, NO MORE TANGLES^® Leave-in Conditioner, , Baby Oil with Aloe Vera & Vitamin E, Baby Oil Lavender, Baby Oil Gel, Baby Oil Gel with Shea and Cocoa Butter, Baby Oil Gel with Aloe Vera & Vitamin E, Baby Creamy Oil Cocoa & Shea Butter, Baby Creamy Oil Aloe Vera & Vitamin E, Baby Powder Calming Lavender & Chamomile, Baby Powder Medicated with Aloe & Vitamin E Medicated, Baby Powder Pure Cornstarch with Aloe Vera & Vitamin E, Baby Cologne, BUDDIES^® Moisturizing Body Wash, BUDDIES^® NO MORE TANGLES^® Easy-Comb 2-in-1 Shampoo, BUDDIES^® NO MORE TANGLES^® Detangler, BUDDIES^® Easy-Grip Sudzing Bar, KIDS^® HEAD-TO-TOE^® Body Wash Tropical Blast, KIDS^® E-Z GRIP SOAP™ Berry Breeze, KIDS^® NO MORE TANGLES^® Detangling Spray STRAWBERRY SENSATION™! If you have read all these so far, I congratulate you for your sense of detail or boredom!

Can any normal mother tell me what on earth all these products are for and how many of them are  DIFFERENT... like the difference between baby cream/ baby lotion, baby wash/ bedtime bath/ baby bubble bath & wash/ bedtime baby bubble bath & wash and so on and so forth...

FMCG Marketing at its wits (or otherwise)....and so called Innovations!

If the mother starts using all these products, I wonder if she will have any time for anything else and if she will end up being a good masseuse or complain of hand pain!

Sales

Another Marketing gimmick

When you wish someone prosperity, isn't it for a lifetime? It doesnt seem so for marketers as usual. Five years ago, a common man in the city was unaware of an auspicious day called Akshaya Tritiya. Maybe people seeing star calenders knew about it and did whatever they did on those days. But suddenly, this day has become so conspicuous, unignorable and synonymous to buy gold on this auspicious day for prosperity with every jeweller advertising it. So I ask again: Does the prosperity the gold (supposedly) brings expire in one year and new gold have to be bought every year?

Crap Marketing

You should know when you are in an Indian five-star hotel when you don't find any usuable water (water tap/mini hand shower) anywhere near the commode. Instead, they keep only toilet papers there. What angers me the most is that they have a lot of Indian customers and still make us feel awkward when we are in the most vulnerable situations on Earth...

Are they purposely send out a message that they dont want Indians by trying to irritate us or are they retards?

P.S: The first lesson in marketing is always "understand your customer needs".... Ya right! 

I bet if you ask them what they studied, they would say "that marketing crap". 

Most difficult proof reading

What is the one book almost everyone goes through in their lifetime but is the hardest to proof read?

The Dictionary!

Unlike technical books, where even a small group of experts can have an authority on the matter, the dictionary contains thousands of areas of words and no small group of experts can proof read and verify what is written.

I wonder how the dictionary companies like Oxford dictionary, Webster's disctionary, etc actually proof read them. Moreover, in today's internet world, do they just see the new words used in Google/Yahoo and add them to the next edition? How do they find new words that are being used? Do they even rely on unconfirmed research from unreliable sources to and add the new words based on these researches?

I have my questions and reservations. Further, I wonder what will the daily work of a person working in these dictionary companies. What kind of resources do they have at their disposal? Do they have huge libraries & online databases? Do they go to different countries to see the frequency of usage of certain words? What will one have to do/be to get into these companies to work on the core of their work? I wonder...

Drowning in smells

So you use a soap/body lotion, a moisturiser, some talc, deodarent, hair oil/gel/cream, face wash, face scrub, mouthwash, hand wash; shaving cream & after shave(for men); and many more products for women.

Have you tried counting how many of them have a neutral or no smell in them. If you are going by the lastest or the most fashionable of the products, it is very likely that you will find it hard to even find one or two of them with no smell. So in that case you are daily using a concoction of products with smells across the spectrum from sandalwood handwash to menthol shaving cream to walnut face wash to jasmine talc to metal deoderants. Interesting! So what exact smell do you want to convey to yourself and to people around you? 

The more ironic thing about this is apart from the deodarant, most of the other products we use have a smell only when we bring out nose to the product and smell it and many of them are used in such a way that they are washed off(soap, scrub, face wash, shaving cream).

So what significant benefit do these products, each of which comes in tens of flavours really serve? 

Do people buy and use varied smelling products for just the initial virgin smell of it while using it? Do they really want to override the previous smell with the next product they use? Do they think the people close to them will smell all the flavours that they have used?

I dont know if today's marketers' have done any study relating to this. The FMCG marketers are too category focussed to sell their products and I dont think they would have thought of the overall strategic smell a person really wants to emit/give out. Maybe the biggie FMCGs should think about  making products with a strategic smell in mind.

The Toto Nana Marketing assignment

Absolutely brilliant! :)

Any MBA guy will absolutely love this one and can relate to it very well...

http://www.pagalguy.com/2010/03/the-toto-nana-repositioning-assignment/

My Kissing experiments

The more I read and understand, the more I want to KISS. The wiser, more experienced and successful people tend to KISS more. Following their wise footsteps, I have decided to experiment and go K-I-S-S-ing.

Two professors at AIM whom I respect a lot for their knowledge have many a times demonstrated their successful proprietary KISSing techniques. I have been impressed and influenced by Prof.Perez's eyeball technique and Prof.Miranda's pricing technique of KISSing. The eyeball technique is a method of ascertaining interest rates/profits/price of selling,etc for a financial transaction. It involves looking at comparable numbers and arriving at an answer with no Excel modeling whatsoever. 

Prof.Miranda's pricing strategy doesnt even need eyes. He owns a shop selling antiques and his pricing strategy involves adding two zeros at the end of the cost he paid to acquire it in the first place.

I have to admit that these simple yet powerful techniques did make an impression on me. The majority of the marketing people on earth push products without any regard to true customer needs. They forcefully make items with very little or no differences and try to sell it as if it were totally new and most urgently required items by the customers. After a few real needs are addressed, they start fooling themselves and everyone else that anything even slightly new is a different and wanted product(After all, they get paid for their BRILLIANT NEW ideas, isnt it?). 

Going to a supermarket, why else do I see atleast 20 or thirty different face washes /shampoos /conditioners /soaps,etc from as little as just 4 or 5 companies? 

The financial people are no less. They complicate things to get around taxes, rules, use highly subjective words and try finding loopholes to sell their products. (After all, they get paid for selling stuff.)

Why else do I see hundreds of mutual funds with hardly any changes in their objective or style of investing and there has been no consistent winner ever.

Why do lakhs of people go and see some unbelivably bad movies despite hearing many bad reviews of movies. I clearly remember one Shah Rukh Khan movie(cant remember the name) that people bad moouthed from the start after seeing it and still I knew many people who wanted to see it. 

They saw it and they cribbed saying they had wasted their money. Did those morons want to actually pay and see how bad a movie can be?

These things have taken away a lot of my faith in a lot of subjects and even in people and I tend to ask myself "Is this for real or just a hype/forced selling/fashionable today?"

If you have come so far, you would be wondering what a deranged mind I have derailing from KISSing. Well, I have come to the conclusion that I will not get excited and anxious about the various things that will keep happening around me and continue to just keep it simple, stupid!

For some of you, who still haven't figured it out yet: KISS is an abbreviation for "Keep It Simple, Stupid" principle :)

Dirty insurers

I intend to increase my life insurance cover once I join a company and I started looking for the most economical term plan. (Comprehensive plans are not for a person like me who wants more than the normal returns of 6% on an investment and I don't want Ulips as there is no guarantee that I will die when the market is on a high. Chances are more likely that a market crash will get me a heart attack.)

So, my search started. First went back to my current insurer's website and found the premium tables. There were 4 "bands" in the premium table pdf with no explanation what the bands are. Under each band, there is indeed a very understandable table of "your age" v/s "years of insurance required". The value in the table is the annual premium for every Rs.1000 insured.

Unable to understand the bands, I tried using their premium calculator.

"Please provide the details in the given format to calculate the appropriate life insurance cover to meet your family’s needs.

Your Name  

Your Age  

Gender 

State

City

Pin Code

Email ID

Mobile Number

Click next to continue"

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this point of time. How come a mandatory email id, mobile number and name is required to calculate a premium for a scheme?

Am I mad enough to give these to get some much needed spam for giving away my limitless time?

I looked at another insurer. This company has many plans under  protection plans itself, namely:

Reliance Super Golden Years Term 10 Plan 

Reliance Super Golden Years Basic Plan

Reliance Super Golden Years Plus Basic Plan

Reliance Super Golden Years Plus Term 10 Plan

Reliance Super Golden Years Value Basic Plan

Reliance Super Golden Year Value Term 10 Plan

Reliance Wealth + Health Basic Plan 

Reliance Traditional Super InvestAssure Plan 

Reliance Term Plan

Reliance Simple Term Plan

Reliance Wealth + Health Term 10 Plan 

Reliance Special Term Plan

Reliance Credit Guardian Plan

Reliance Special Credit Guardian Plan

Reliance Endowment Plan

Reliance Super Five Plus

Reliance Connect 2 Life

Reliance Whole Life Plan

Reliance Cash Flow Plan

Wow! I am so excited! I feel like a kid in a toy store...Yay! (Ya right!)

I would personally like to slap the marketing manager for the ease with which one can make out the plan looking at the name.

I remembered a subsidiary of naukri.com policybazaar.com which enables you to compare the premium rates across various insurance schemes. Here's what I need to provide to compare policies.

Wow! A free credit card on offer....

^#@*^# Marketing managers and insurers.

I feel saddened to know how inconvenient and un-user friendly and non-transparent online marketing is.

Marketing has evolved from looting blind people to forcing a non-blind person into a dark, non-lighted alley to loot him.

A bloody good idea

You would think the world of medicine and finance don't mix... Well, not until now...

The following is an idea I gave to a market development head of an organisation in the business of stock and commodity exchanges. I got selected for this company based on this idea and many others I gave, but I have declined the offer. If this idea is indeed implemented, I would have at least managed one of my ideas to actually take off and see it in the real world.

Problem: Hospitals need a regular supply of “whole blood” and “packed cells” for giving it to patients. Maintaining a constant supply of these of the right blood type at the crucial life/death scenario is difficult.

Idea/Solution: Trade blood contracts on the exchange.

Buyers: Hospitals

Sellers: Blood banks, NGOs that do Blood donation camps/drives.

Benefits:

·         Helps hospitals get the required quantity and right type of quality tested blood in advance.

·         Helps hospitals save more lives and being more reliable.

Details:

In India, during a medical emergency, the onus is on the patient's relatives to arrange for replacement of blood. India has many blood banks, all functioning in a decentralized fashion. In the current system, there is no tool to find number of blood donors of the required blood group in current time and place, there is no interaction between blood banks, no exchange of blood or its components.

“Whole blood” is the blood available in human beings. Whole blood is extracted from the body during blood donations. The human blood has both solid parts (Red blood cells, White blood cells, Platelets, etc) and liquid parts (called serum). The whole blood can be stored upto a period of 15-21 days at 4°C. Whole blood is given to patients in case of major blood loss as in the case of accidents. The cost of a pint (Indian pint = 350ml) of whole blood is approximately Rs.650. This cost is not for the blood, but for the testing, transporting, storage and personnel cost.

Whole blood can also be separated into components and be stored. Certain components of the blood need to be given to patients in certain cases. Whole blood minus the liquid parts is called “packed cells”. Packed cells are given to patients usually in OBG cases. The cost of a pint (Indian pint = 350ml) of packed cells is approximately Rs.650-700 (slightly higher due to separation/sedimentation charges)

5.1 million units of blood are collected every year in India. The demand of blood is very high and there is a deficiency of 30-40 percent of blood as per WHO norms.

(Src: http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/fromthefield/218536/119745403644.htm)

There is also a supply demand gap in the different states and areas. The main proposal of this idea is to make the commodity exchange as a marketplace for buyers (hospitals) to buy blood from the sellers. The sellers have expertise in procuring fresh blood, testing for diseases, classification based on blood types and storing them. The buyers can buy the required quantities of the right blood type from the sellers. This will enable hospitals to save more lives and become reliable from a patient’s point of view.

                This idea will enable the suppliers (Blood banks and NGOs) to try to increase their sourcing and increase voluntary blood donations in India. The suppliers will try to have captive donors and contact them for regular donations which will boost the blood supply available in India and close the supply demand gap.

Types of instruments (future/option) and contract specifications are to be decided.

Constraints/Challenges: Hospitals need a license to buy and store blood from the MCI (Medical Council of India).

Market size: There are a total of 2609 blood banks in India as of 30^th June 2009 out of which there are 753 private hospitals with blood banks.

(Src: http://cdsco.nic.in/html/BloodList.html

http://bloodbanksdelhi.com/content/LicensedBloodBanks.htm,

http://www.indiabloodbank.com/bloodbanks.php)

The internet in numbers

Take a look and you will surely be surprised with some of the data:

http://royal.pingdom.com/2010/01/22/internet-2009-in-numbers/

Very useful for online marketing people for calculating required numbers.

Women want more!

Consumer behaviour for Marketing for womenkind:
http://www.businesspundit.com/women-want-more-a-book-review/

15 good podcasts

http://www.businesspundit.com/15-podcasts-that-will-make-you-richer/

Investment advice

Check out this video about investment advice. I am not trying to say that all the investment managers out there are trying to rip you off, but there are quite a few of them out there. Most of the insurance and mutual fund agents who always tell you to buy the latest products from them without explaining or comparing all the characteristics of the products are the ones trying to rip you off. After they are done with you, you will R.I.P(rest in peace)
http://financialrounds.blogspot.com/2008/06/investment-advice.html