Friendliness and professionalism

Power of timely love

 The 8 minutes catch up with a friend by Simon Senek:

The 8 min catchup

The perfect hug:

5-10 sec hug

A concept by John Gottman

The 6 second kiss

In conclusion, spend at least 8 min with a friend, a 10 sec hug to a loved one and a 6 second kiss to your partner.

The omnipresence

Oh boy! Do I love that suprised question: "How do you know this? Where did you get this?" and they keep wondering and thinking... :P

Twice this week: one with a friend and another with my cousin.

Giving people information about their near and dear ones that they didnt know is indeed very amusing and interesting :)

The zones

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT9I2nFdYv4schHrPRa4nTfd-M0_6cd2ZDjWwQaopQ4dWdklei1S4ibeZ_qAQufQeLQKP-kCdFOAzVsFUhM5cytUdyuNt6w8mA4QMlb4qHV9A_xvKokWPrgB4AbLSd3yHwJ1LRKI2EMmQE/s1600-h/null.jpg

Hurt quotes

“Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.”

"It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.”

“Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though heaven is on earth.”

“Strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly.”

“I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in awhile and you must forgive them for that.”

“The difference between friendship and love is how much you can hurt each other”

“You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.”

“I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love” : Mother Teresa

The highs and lows

Today, a relationship came a full circle. I am now able to see how even relationships can be highly overvalued (eg.: the initial crush) to fair valued (normal pleasant relationship) to undervalued (angry and upset due to an argument) to all the way down next to zero (totally given up on the other person to even communicate with you). The last phrase was next to zero and not zero as there is always some chance and hope that the person will communicate with you at some point in time. This is similar to the stock price of the company never going to exactly zero, but it can go very close to it.

Today, a friend from the last category communicated back. In financial terms, the option value paid off significantly and I am in the money now :)

I don't know if the friendship will ever be as rosy as the days were and if I ever want it to be the same again. I guess I am not going to think a lot about it and just take the improvements as they come, one step at a time.

When you lose something very valuable and get it back out of nowhere, it usually is very exciting. But I don't think it is in case of relationships where you have been hurt very much.

The sunk feeling

Sometimes, the heart just sinks hearing or knowing something. Something you didn't expect and about something that is close to you and usually it is a big opportunity loss. There is no question of getting angry or taking revenge, since it is a one way loss where only you are the only one hurt and you anyway don't want to cause harm to the other party in any way. Sometimes, there is disappointment and sometimes, not even that, just a sense of loss. One can't really do anything about it. Just accept it and be ready for such things in the future so that it doesn't hurt you as much as it did the previous time.

When friends walk away

http://justamotheroftwo.blogspot.com/2006/11/when-friends-walk-away_11.html

Secrets

I know so many secrets about so many people (friends, roomies, cousins and family) and I feel happy that so many people trust me so much, but at times I feel it is complicating my life a little more. I have to be that much extra careful when I speak that I do not speak about the secret. Worse, I have to remember that I have to act innocent as if I didn't know certain things about a certain person's life. That is still ok. That is the easier part. Fortunately, all the secrets I know are directly from the people about themselves. The secrets that are the hardest to own and protect are leaked secrets - A secret that has been leaked to me as gossip. Then it is an open secret and any number of people could have known it. Bringing the knowledge of this secret in a discussion can make things go really bad. I am happy I don't get to know much of the juicy other's secrets. Secrets/Personal information coming from the very person are always much better than hearing the same through someone else(though it is far more interesting).

The good, the bad and the ugly

Today is the day for me to hear all three events from various quarters for me.

The good: A friend of mine got a job.

The bad: Got a cheated feeling by trusting some people.

The ugly: A friend did a very very bad thing against his gut feelings and is now repenting it badly.

Life's like that! Really?

People: One of those topics I have wondered often on...

I know more than just a handful of them. And many things about them are so difficult to comprehend. Not sure if so many people have a common attitude and common beliefs or is each one different in their own way but have common traits with some group of people. I have certain notions about some things about people. But I am not sure since many of my held notions have broken. I am constantly trying to find out if my notion was itself wrong in the first place or if my notion was right and people have changed by finding other notions to live up to. Notions are so personal to each one that it is very difficult to share with just about anyone around and that just complicates things to get my answer. I am not satisfied with the answer "Life's like that". I want to know why is it that Life's like that? Have people actually done something or made an effort to stop something that they love calling  "Life's like that" ?

"Life's like that!" 

Really? Or is it just convenient that way for people to do whatever they want and use this statement as a justification ?

Signing off

I recently got an email with the following sign off "xoxo". Knowing the person's sophistication, I knew this was something I clearly didnt know. I searched it online and wikipedia says x= kiss and o=hugs and this expression xoxo is typically to express affection or good friendship at the end of a written letter, email or SMS text message.

I have usually wondered what to write at the end of emails and especially greeting cards to friends(if they are not the closest or if they may not particularly like the words love as a sign off). So I finally did a search which I should have done a long time ago and found this really nice site:

http://resourcesforwriters.suite101.com/article.cfm/list_of_letter_closings_and_salutations

Now, I think I have something new and interesting to sign off with :)

And I think I can also come up with some of my own :)

The best excuse

One of the best non-arguable excuses ever for anything anyone asks you is "work". The various versions are "I am caught/stuck up with work", "work yaar", "I have some work", "have some work at home", "busy with something", "busy with work".

The all time motherhood statement with no explanation of what possible work that could be. If they say it, there is a chance that we may for heavens sake find out a way for their "work" problems. Now that shouldn't happen, can it?

I honestly have come to believe that people saying they are busy with work with no explanations whatever; or without a description of how that work is affecting so many other things too and how they are making other sacrifices; or without a statement that they will make up for the request surely some other time is basically a lie to avoid the request and/or to stop getting a guilty feeling.

Drinking

Met a friend today who told me she drinks close to 12 cups of tea a day(actually more like 7 or 8). And she says it has no effect on her. Ya right! I think she is totally addicted and I see the effect of addiction.

Reminded me of an old joke:

Once a guy plans to test a theory on drinking. So he goes to the bar and orders 4 shots. Gulps down one after another. Not much of an effect. Now orders 3 shots. Gulps them down. Feels a bit oozy. Orders two more shots and drinks them. Feels a high. Orders one more shot and drinks it. Feels very very high.

He concludes: The lesser I drink, the more high I get.

This image is dedicated to my dear friend in Bangalore:

Unexpected surprises

Some of the smallest things are some of the most honest and nice things that can bring on a smile to a person's face. An unexpected sms of a friend who became a new aunt (and I have been addressing her aunty ever since) asked me for an honest suggestion of how her niece should be addressing her made my day today. Thanks friend :)

Questions to eternity

I was searching through my gmail for something and stepped across a chat with a friend and an email conversation with another friend. If you read it, you will find a level of closeness and comfort between the friends. I would have never expected some things to change so drastically in such a short period of time (2 months)...the strangest part is the ironicity of the advice of my friend to me... well, things have happened/not happened, and the situation today is different. I no longer feel hurt or pain because of this... But one thing that went on in my mind while I read it was: we will never be able to get answers to many questions in this lifetime...

Well, there was a time to think of questions, possible answers as to why some things transpired, but I think I am over those dead questions. The questions will remain zombies forever with no one ready to answer it.

So called 'friends'

Are some friends really worth it? are they worth my time? Some of them dont respond to calls... some say they will catch up on a weekend but hardly ever do... some come online and put up some upseting status messages and when you seem concerned and ask what happened, they dont say much and have a ten line chat and go then go away...

I feel I am living in an illusion where I have lost touch with all reality and cutting each day one after another with no idea what is going to happen tomorrow and hardly have any expectations from tomorrow... From my experience, when you have expectations from others they somehow are always capable of only dissapointing you... But still I do have some basic expectations and I am constantly getting dissappointed by people's actions or rather their inactions...

A not so ordinary dinner

Yesterday, I went out for a dinner with the previous and the present roomates of my dorm to an Indian restaurant in Manila. This dinner was different. The diversity of the people attending changed a few things: 2 Indian vegetarian Hindus, 4 Indian non-vegetarian Hindus, 1 German Christian and an Indonesian Muslim.

So what's so different about a diversified group.

The situation and the intracacies you have to take care of in a dinner.

Vegetarians had to order separately and didnt need help in ordering as they know their country dishes. The Muslim friend was specific about the non-veg and wanted only 'halal' meat. My German friend does not like seafood and when Raita(curd/yogurt) came, we had to ask him if he was lactase tolerent. (Around 10% people in the world are lactase intolerent and can't consume milk and curd).

These conditions were quite too many for a dinner and we the hosts had to be careful not to take arrogant decisions while ordering.

Most importantly, all of us had to stick to talking to English (which some Indians violated a lot and I didn't personally like their rudeness).

Way of addressing

The way some Indians address their friends indicates the area they have mostly likely spent their childhood/college time. Take for example the following addresses:

Thanks yaar

Thanks di

Thanks maga

Thanks re

From my non-scientific analysis, I have so far identified some of the places these are most commonly used. 'maga' is from Karnataka where maga literarily means son. Sentences ending with 're' are from Mumbai. Usually people using 'di' are from Tamilnadu while yaar is a commonly used in North India.

So when you hear someone talk to their friends, you can atleast make out where they have most likely been brought up in. There is no gaurantee however as people may want to sometimes portray a certain image and may use a certain style to be identified with.

Living the memory and wanting to Re-live it

The date : 31 Dec, 2005. One of the most memorable days for me. The reason: 15 classmates (including 2 Gods and an angel) descended at our(my roomies and my) bachelorpad making it a total of 17 classmates.Most were expected and some were uninvited surprises.

I still have that beautiful photo of that day of my friends. (My curent desktop background)

Looking at their faces, I see the beauty of those days that I miss. In their faces, each one of them shows a combination of happiness, pride, confidence, humbleness, optimism, hope and many beautiful smiles.

I want to relive that moment and hope one day we can have a similar photo after many years for a show & tell of 'then & now'.

Missing you guys and gals...