A newlywed Karabakh-Armenian couple walks with a cow in Shusha. More than 750 couples from the Nogorny-Karabakh region participated in mass wedding organized by businessman Levon Airapetyan, who gave each couple 2,000 US dollars (1,400 euros) and a cow. (KAREN MINASYAN/AFP/Getty Images / October 16, 2008)
CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET— A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER — What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER— A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR— Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.
They are cute but their stories are distressing
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1067297/Sitting-pretty-longer-The-barrow-load-orphaned-baby-orang-utans.html
Monroe, WA: Bank Robber Decoys Sought
A brazen crook apparently used a Craigslist ad to hire a dozen unsuspecting decoys to help him make his getaway following a robbery outside a bank on Tuesday.
The robber had planned ahead. In case anyone was hot on his trail, he had at least a dozen unsuspecting decoys waiting nearby, which he recruited on Craigslist.
“I came across the ad that was for a prevailing wage for $28.50 an hour,” said Mike, who saw a Craigslist ad last week looking for workers for a road maintenance.
He…was e-mailed…instructions to meet near the Bank of America in Monroe at 11 a.m. Tuesday. He also was told to wear certain work clothing.
“Yellow vest, safety goggles, a respirator mask… and, if possible, a blue shirt,” he said.
Mike showed up along with about a dozen other men dressed like him, but there was no contractor and no road work to be done. He thought they had been stood up until he heard about the bank robbery and the suspect who wore the same attire.
Priceless.
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India: Elder Care - Home Care
I am searching for a female to take care of a healthy elderly gentleman for 5 months from November ‘08 to March ‘09. Job location is Tuticorin.
Salary offered is Rs. 6,000 per month. Candidate must be over 18 years of age and under 45, have some college education, must have good health, cleanliness and must speak either Tamil or Malayalam or English. Must stay at the job location. Food and living quarters, transportation to and from home town will be provided.
Attending the elderly gentleman is the primary responsibility which includes light cooking, shopping and house keeping. Gentleman is in his 60’s and in good health and so no need for any medical assistance. Prior experience is a plus.
Rent-a-wife! Someone needs to scale this operation and market it to lonely singles around the world.
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