Monday, July 28, 2008

My nomadic life

During the last few days, I have started feeling a strong nomadic feeling attached to myself. This feeling has been there on and off in a mild way after I had quit my job by may end. I have been travelling quite a lot since then. Bangalore ->Madurai ->Bangalore ->Ahmedabad ->Bhavnagar ->Ahmedabad ->Bhavnagar ->Ahmedabad ->Bhavnagar ->Ahmedabad ->Chennai. And I am still on the run to get the plethora of tasks to get over before I fly to Philippines. I counted and found out that during the last 5 weeks, I have had 14 transitions of places where I have slept, and a new environment to get used to each time when I get up. All this has made me go into a kind of time warp, where I seem to have lost the sense of time. I dont remember when a certain thing happened in the past. U can relate to any change only if there is a base to start off. In my case, I have no base to compare anything and my brain is unable to process change in date or day or week or month. When one of my aunt's asked me a simple question on the phone as to when I arrived in Chennai, my mind went blank. I knew it was sometime last week, but could not recollect what day. I thought for a couple of seconds as to how to derive to the day when I reached and that involved calculating backwards where I was and what I did each day. I did not want to seem to think so much and gave her a vague reply "last week". Today when one of my aunt's asked me what I had eaten at the other aunt's place, I just remembered the colour and some ingredients of one of the sidedish I ate and could not remember what was the main vegetable in that sidedish. But, I managed to remember the other sidedish and foodstuffs. My mind has been drifting along various thoughts, tensions, emotions and such innumerable changes for quite a long time now and has kind of shut itself to such irrelevant facts and (some relevant facts) of the past. Good or bad, I am not sure. There seems to be more transitions in the places I sleep and the toll of transitions is going to rise to 20 by the time I am going to reach Manila. In one way, I am looking forward to reach Manila so that I can start to lead a stable life. Long term continous change has started to take its toll on my brain. I hope it is just temporary.

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