Justify anything a.k.a/via Contradictory proverbs

Its real funny, surprising and amusing that you can always reason out why you want to do something or why others should do something. Like for example: if you prefer to do something patiently and with a lot of thought and carefulness, and somebody asks you why are you doing it so slowly, you answer back "slow and steady wins the race". On the other hand if we were the other person getting bugged by the slowness, we argue "time and tide wait for none".

It is surprising that almost every proverb we know has an opposite proverb matching it.

Once we see the other side of things and appreciate the logic, you will come to the only conclusion "There is no real one right thing for anything"

Go ahead, read these contradictory proverbs:

All good things come to those who wait BUT Time and tide wait for no man.

The pen is mightier than the sword BUT Actions speak louder than words.

Wise men think alike BUT Fools seldom differ.

The best things in life are free things BUT There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Slow and steady wins the race BUT Time waits for no man.

Look before you leap BUT Strike while the iron is hot.

Do it well, or not at all BUT Half a loaf is better than none.

Birds of a feather flock together BUT Opposites attract.

Don't cross your bridges before you come to them BUT Forewarned is forearmed.

Doubt is the beginning of wisdom BUT Faith will move mountains.

Great starts make great finishes BUT It ain't over 'till it's over.

Practice makes perfect BUT All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Silence is golden BUT The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

You're never too old to learn BUT You can't teach an old dog new tricks

What's good for the goose is good for the gander BUT One man's food is another man's poison.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder BUT Out of sight, out of mind.

Too many cooks spoil the broth BUT Many hands make light work.

Hold fast to the words of your ancestors BUT Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.

Sharing files

In case you want to transfer files over the internet without having to upload anything, here are a couple of softwares (I have not transferred anything yet though)

www.kkloud.com - enables people to send files directly from your browser.

www.dushare.com - Real time peer to peer file transfers

The Time Machines

A facebook message:

"Memories, Dreams, and Love .... I believe they are all 'time-machines' in essence.....don't you think so?

Memories take us back in time.

Dreams propel us ahead of time. 

And Love, well, ... it freezes the time :)  "

Changing the Life insurance game in India in one masterstroke

There is a great big market opportunity for one of the life insurance players in India to become get a good big market share pie and tap the untapped markets. They need to unsettle the market just as Tata Docomo radicalised the telecom market with the 1paise/second plan. Everyone knows that there is a huge market for life insurance in India but none of the existing insurance players are taking the strategy of large volumes and lower commisions as in the best and purest form of life insurance called term insurance. Today when people talk of life insurance, people's first recall is LIC or rather LIC is the synonym of investments and life insurance together. The company which is willing to go the term insurance path can show that the benefit of low insurance costs for huge amounts of sums insured and can easily attract people. As many Indians are too stuck up with the idea of getting something back, they can show an advertisement of how somebody buys a car/bike insurance without a second thought for saving his/her bike, but when it comes to their own life, they dont seem to be concerned about the family in case of the loss of the earning member. The potent combination of low premium costs and likening it to auto insurance can get the middle class out of the rut of LIC's highly agent driven (read brainwashing) customers.

Now, only if someone out there is listening!

Whacky insurance policies

Whacky insurance policies go beyond insuring one's precious backside for millions of $$$.

Here are some really exotic insurance policies taken.

Immaculate Conception: Three Scottish virgins were so convinced that God might impregnate them that they took out a policy that would pay them $1.5 million if it happened.

Chest Hair: An unknown celebrity asked an insurance company to insure his manly chest rug for $7 million. Alas, he never took out the policy.

Giant Crab: When the Birmingham Sea Life aquarium took possession of a gigantic Japanese spider crab measuring 10-feet across, they assured the public wasn't dangerous-then took out a $1.5 million policy against visitor death or dismemberment.

http://www.hindustantimes.com/wackiest-insurance-policies-ever/article1-602461.aspx

The After effects!!

http://www.intomobile.com/2010/10/13/apple-patent-censors-objectionable-messages/

With Apple patenting an application for blocking sexy/filthy text from the phones, I guess the number of words having alternate meanings is only going to increase...

Just like when we were young, Rubber meant eraser; Ass meant Donkey; Gay meant Happy; Straight meant Linear; Making Out meant Logical Deduction; Laying meant Setting aside, Cock meant Rooster; Pussy meant Cat; Stag meant a male Deer, A Tit was always for Tat.....

The Green Lake

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1317860/Austrias-Green-Lake-The-park-lake-summer.html

New terms for new sensations

Bell's Law of Telephony: No matter what technology is used, your monthly phone bill magically remains about the same size.

Denarration: The process whereby one's life stops feeling like a story.

Instant Reincarnation: The fact that most adults, no matter how great their life is, wish for radical change in their life. The urge to reincarnate while still alive is near universal.

Intravincular Familial Silence: We need to be around our families not because we have so many shared experiences to talk about, but because they know precisely which subjects to avoid.

Intraffinital Melancholy vs Extraffinital Melancholy: Which is lonelier: To be single and lonely, or to be lonely within a dead relationship?

Organised systemic cheating

You can call it cheating or disrespect purposeful ignorance, but certainly not innocent. A lot of big companies say a lot of big stuff but when it comes to practice, they are trying to shortchange you and certainly not what they promise. Recent experiences of Nokia, Tata Indicom, pizza shops and hotels prove this.

My new mobile from Nokia went dead in two weeks and I gave it to their service center at Mumbai. After a week they tell me that the mobile which was repaired in Delhi has come back and it is still dead. So they will send it back to Delhi. The next week they promptly tell me to come and pick up my handset. After waiting for half hr in the line, I see them inserting the battery into a phone whose colour is different from the one I had given. Now I have asked for the same couloured repplacement or I am not taking delivery. Are they doing door delivery service or rather their disservice? I am still paying for my time and money spent travelling to their service center and waiting in line, not to mention the time spent to configure the new phone.

Tata Photon plus is even more slower in service. They cancelled a post-paid to prepaid connection change as they wanted an address proof. They have the address proof in the post paid and yet wanted another one for prepaid. After a month and threatening them to take them to consumer court, the issues have been resolved (for the time being).

This is something I fail to understand. Why do companies prefer to have an old incorrect address rather than have a new address where the customer is verified when they operate an all India network and distribution facilities?

Another instance where the dongle (any usb internet access device) sellers cheat is that they sell you the dongle and wont refund the money for the dongle when we close the connection. My friend tells me that he read some TRAI regulation that they should reimburse the money when the device is returned back, but the low down company people will only say, taking back is not part of company policy.

Some hotels and many a Pizza shops are a great set of cheaters. They charge service charge on their bills of as high as 10% of the bill. Some bigger cheats put this 10% on the amount after tax (which means they are charging service tax of 10% on the tax amount too). Scam of the first order. Only governments can charge charges on the tax. Fortunately, someone I distantly know has approached the high court and the pizza company has been ordered to change their system and not charge service charge on the tax amount.

Uses of Internet Explorer

Interesting Tweets on Ayodhya Verdict

Mohak: Indian wins big outsourcing contract! Jerusalem, Palestine, Israel issue to be resolved by Allahabad High Court!!!!
Puneetnaik: what if these Nirmohi Akhara guys sell their land to some Catholics. We will have a Amar, Akbar, Anthony moment there.
BeingSamee: Verdict on the Ayodhya Issue is What I call a Threesome!

Shivya: Today will go down in history as the day the existence of God was proved in Allahabad High Court.