Losing that loving feeling

There is a very old fantastic song called "You have lost that loving feeling" by Righteous Brothers.

The lyrics clearly state the situation and requests the girl to love him back again.

A heartbreak of a situation, more of a slow death actually.

What if we lose that loving feeling of something or someone that interested us much but lately, you have started losing that loving feeling? Not because you found a better love, but because the other thing/person disrespected you again and again despite you putting all the efforts and the love for it.

The feelings are depressing and sad with a pinch of anger (not sure about the other or towards self for loving and doing so much so far along).

The thoughts slow down, the body feels weak with the weight of the negative emotions including missing a few good things and simultaneously lightness of the burden of responsibility which is going to come down.

The dilemma of trying to push someone up

Put effort to pull or push someone up in life

or

To leave people where they are.

The Dilemma occurs when you really want someone to succeed and want to push them to achieve things but they are not that serious about it and you are left wondering is it worth the time and effort to do this.

Finding Mentors

For a first generation entrepreneur, not being in the right circles, it is difficult to find mentors.

I have almost lost a decade without the mentors for which I regret.

But, the interesting part I have recently discovered and explored is that you can make certain popular people your mentors and follow their fantastic advice to advance in all aspects of life.

A few people I consider my mentors today and follow them rigourously:
Naval Ravikant - Philosophy, leverage (https://www.instagram.com/naval/?hl=en)

Hormozi - Productivity and leveling up (https://www.instagram.com/hormozi/?hl=en)

Dan Koe - The future skills, writing, creativity (https://www.instagram.com/thedankoe/?hl=en)

Benjamin Hardy - The future you (https://www.instagram.com/drbenjaminhardy/?hl=en)

Jesse Itzler - Living life to the fullest (https://www.instagram.com/jesseitzler/?hl=en)

Vusi Thembekwayo - Entrepreneurship, Business marketing and sales (https://www.instagram.com/vusithembekwayo/?hl=en)

A year ago, I considered the following as my mentors:

Patrick Bet David - Entrepreneurship, Strategy (https://www.instagram.com/patrickbetdavid/?hl=en)

Elon Musk - For his hard working ethics.

John Wick - for fire fighting insane number of problems as an entrepreneur.

As I now realise, the today's mentors I follow are more relevant to learn from and the previous mentors are more inspirational than anything particular to learn from.

Finding the right mentors and changing them as part of our evolution of changing needs is progress.

Back to the old

 Some statistics I got to know recently:

1. 1 in 9 people or 11% are expected to get cancer

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36510887/

2. 10-15% of couples in India have infertility issues

3. In US, the age of first menstruation has reduced by over 4 years compared to history from 16 to 12 years. One of the reasons stated is higher estrogen release due to effect of ingestion of micro plastics.

4. Obesity and heart disease is on the increase everywhere.

The health issues trends we are seeing are not encouraging as a society.

The attitudes, the priorities, the marketing of non-sense things have eaten up the upcoming generation wholly, and a huge part of the existing working generation. The retired generation was only partially affected by this.

However, our granparents generation are least affected by it as at that time, there wasn't that much communication and marketing. They lived on basic, healthy and sustainable things unlike the future generations where contamination started.

What kinds of contamination?

1. Food - from natural to genetically modified, excess use of pesticides and fertilizers, harmones and antibiotics in farmed animals, synthetics and colours.

2. Drinks and beverages - chemical concoctions as carbonated drinks, excess drinking by people, a lot of things being consumed in plastics enabling ingestion of microplastics (from tea bags, cool drinks, etc)

3. Promoting Immediate gratification with negative effects versus over long term gratification with real benefits.

4. Pharma Businesses buying out the researches and giving bad advice and concocting grand schemes to make more money.

5. Fake news confusing everyone.

In these kinds of times, it is best to adopt philosophies on food, health, items from not this generation but from what our grandparents had used as they were pure, raw and uncontaminated.

Understanding experiences

A good experience needs you to understand the following about it:

Nuances, Expectations, Comfort and Context.

Nuances are the technicalities you need to understand and do certain actions in certain ways to get the experience going ahead.

Expectations if unrealistic can have a big disappointment and maybe even accidents. Controlling the overexcitement is also important to be in a realistic zone.

Understanding your physical and mental comfort in the new situation is important and to keep it in the comfortable area is crucial. Getting out of the Comfort zone during the new experience can cause anxiety, tension and scariness and do things that make us lose control and may end up in accidents.

Context is about being aware of the environment. The context brings with it the unique set of constraints and a few opportunities. Being aware of it is important for your safety and well being.

You can use these 4 parameters for any new experience. Be it driving a vehicle for the first time, adventure sports, trying new food or anything else for that matter.

Let's take an example to understand: Scuba diving.

Nuances: The nuances of breathing from the mouth instead of nose. The sign language to remember and use under water. Reading the depth in the depth watch. Remembering to blow air through your nose in case of water entering the goggles.

Right expectations: We would move around clumsily and may even fall after wearing the fins on land. Do things slowly and don't be in a rush. Do not pull the other person who can barely see or hear you with all the equipment being worn.

Comfort: We should not feel any pain of wearing the oxygen cylinders and be comfortable in the scuba suits. We should be mentally strong to be under water and not be scared of losing our lives. Comfort of having water into the ears and your eyes slightly burn in sea water if it enters the goggles.

Context: Are you scuba diving near rocks with high seas where the water can push you into the rocks or in calm waters? Was the scuba trainer training good? Was all the scuba equipment good and well fitted to your body size thereby minimizing risk? Has the scuba guide taken an extra tank of air for safety? Are you close to a safe place called home or away? Is the situation risky (rough waters, opaque waters) or normal (calmer waters, clear visibility) by the standards of the guide?

Understanding the unique set of parameters in each of these 4 categories would define your good experience each time. 

Good and bad experiences

Good Experience is about getting the what, where, how at least 85% right.

If we dont know the details, expectations, services or dont get it right, it turns out to be a bad experience.

The first bad experience creates a big burden of not wanting to try the experience again. It can be boring or uncomfortable at the least and painful or scary at the worst.

It is important to be guided into the "Right" experience with correct information, tips of getting it right, pitfalls to avoid and to take care of yourself in the context.

Most people are not guided into new experiences thereby hesitating into getting into more new experiences.

Life is a huge set of first time Experiences.

The racing experience, the boyfriend-girlfriend experience, the bunking school for a movie experience, the exploring a new city experience, travelling for a vacation experience, buying your first own automobile experience, staying alone as a bachelor experience,  making new friends experience, trying some crazy food experiences, dabbling in the crypto markets and derivatives experience, first physical intimacy experience, a running experience, teaching experience, engaging a kid experience, visiting an art museum experience, performing live onstage experience, a send off experience, making something memorable for someone experience, discussing experiences' experience, visiting a monastery experience, comforting someone greeving experience, handling inheritance, handling a death in the family experience and much more.

This is where a "Chief Experience Officer" comes in, to help you get the right understanding, sense, direction, pace, packages and tips to get the best out of your experience.

Crime master Gogo philosophy

There is a character called Crime master Gogo in the film Andaz apna apna.

Funny movie.

The character has a line "Aaya hoon toh kuch toh lootkar jaaoonga."

I relate to a similar philosophy. "Aaya hoon toh value exchange karke jaoonga."

In other words, wherever I am, I will give or get value or both.

Types of new experiences

There are many different types of experiences:

1. Adventures sports

2. Food

3. Seeing and watching unique things (a geyser in Iceland or seeing a real kangaroo with a joey in it's pouch)

4. Rare things (First show of a movie, finals of a tournament)

5. Latest new things (like immersive Museums in 2023 which are just popping around the world)

6. Personal records

7. Doing the usual in an unusual context

8. Artistic

9. Something that brings a new perspectives (a movie like the Truman show)

10. Doing something crazy while in a group

11. Listening to or seeing another persons unusual or personal story.

12. Relationship experiences

Let me know if there are more categories.

Chief experience officer

You are running your life and you are its chief executive officer (the CEO).

But, as time is limited for everyone to enjoy and learn things in life, we all need to constantly experience and learn new things.

With constant new experiences, one gains knowledge, the right mindset, connecting various knowledge leading to insights, gaining wisdom without doing the amateurish mistakes, opening of the mind to imaginations and creating possibilities and ideas.

Life is a collection of Experiences.

Everybody have experiences and knowledge and stories.

Most have small ticket Experiences.

Few have medium to big ticket experiences. Very few of these have the willingness and intention to share these. Even fewer, have the time and are willing to go through the effort to share it.

Based on my belief that "Life is a collection of Experiences", I am the Chief Experience Officer of myself, my family and few others.

This role demands the following:

1. Being in touch with the latest happenings and opportunities in the world by building systems to get this to you.

2. Digging beyond the surface to understand the what, how, where, how much cost, the risks and the benefits.

3. Communicating the new available experiences to the group

4. Finding the right point in the 4 dimensions (x,y,z and when) to execute the new experience.

5. Executing the experience seamlessly.

Everybody needs a Chief Experience Officer for their life to maximise the meaning of life.

This role is not identified or defined by most and they miss out on many things in life.

Do comment on what you think about this role for yourself.