Sunday, December 13, 2009

Losing it all

Dec 10 should go down in my history as a day of losses. From losing a lot to losing it. I have never before said so many goodbyes to so many people ever on a day. On other occasions, I know that the byes are temporary till we meet again somewhere, but this time some of the goodbyes are just that, Goodbyes. I may never get to see some of them ever again. It feels bad to know people so well and then lose them all.

After leaving the IIM, I was on my way to attend a wedding ceremony of my roomie in Indore and on the way saw something horrible: A head on accident of a lady with a bus. The girl's legs were stuck in the vehicle and while her head was on the ground and I saw a pool of blood. Nobody was even helping her and I am not sure if she will live or lose her life. Though the fault was of both the lady and the bus driver, I am sure, the way the Indian police and society works, the driver will be blamed 100% for the accident. A sad state of affairs.

After coming back from the wedding, I came to a guest house and put on the tv. I watched a song on tv for the first time in 6 months. I felt lost watching tv. I couldnt relate to anything on tv. I didnt know so many new channels, I didnt know the songs, the actors and actresses or the movies to which the songs belonged. All the advertisements were new and nothing I had watched before. It felt strange and felt totally out of sync.

I think I have lost my head too. This is the first time I am having a homesick feeling for a few days now. Never before have I had a homesick feeling beyond a day or two. Maybe it is the effect of the gtalk status messages my friends put up "home!", "Want to go home", "Back to Bangaluru" or the fact that I am tired of saying goodbyes and actually want to meet some people I know back or that I am tired of packing full international load baggages with so many unnecessary overheads I am still carrying around which I couldnt dump at home or a potent combination of all these.

The one most important thing I have learnt in my MBA is losing/sacrificing, all kinds, from sleep, friends, family, music, decent food, tv, movies, interesting subjects, hobbies, etc and coping up with the losses and moving on. I guess the end of MBA just reinforces that lesson for me.

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