Having a good time - What does this mean to you?

I recently mentioned to someone that I had a good time and I am looking forward to the good times again. The phrase lingered on my mind for some time after the conversation. I didnt actually know how else to mention the time I spent as it was literally "a good time" that I enjoyed with actual only ingredient: "interesting / knowledgable conversation".

If anyone outside the context heard it, "a good time" could mean a lot of things.

So, what does having a good time mean?

For some, it is partying.

For some, it could be drugs and/or sex.

For some, it could be the company of someone while enjoying a movie/ show, etc.

For some, it could be a few good laughs with friends with or without pulling each other's legs.

For some, it is a romantic evening with a date/ partner.

For some, it could be a deep or interesting conversation on a certain topic for a pleasant experience and some insights.

This more or less follows the Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

As we go from partying, drugs, sex from physiological and safety needs to friendships and love to  recognition and self worthiness to the highest level of self-actualisation.

So what does self-actualisation mean?

Self actualisation refers to feeling fulfilled, or feeling that we are living up to our potential. One unique feature of self-actualization is that it looks different for everyone. For one person, self-actualization might involve helping others; for another person, it might involve achievements in an artistic or creative field. Essentially, self-actualization means feeling that we are doing what we believe we are meant to do. 

Having actually had a good time in Self-actualisation zone, I have to say it is very addictive as it is the highest form of mental feel good, one can have.

There is no formal guidance for anyone to anyone to actually understand how each person can reach the self-actualisation zone. Understanding oneself through a proper system of coaching is one way I have found out.

Conflicts in love

 I recently watched an avant garde movie called "Love Lies and Bleeding".

The movie took a few things to the extremes with the plot and with clear decisions to be made.

On introspecting the movie, there were different kinds of love: Sibling love (to protect the other), Husband-wife love (the wife loved him despite he being a physical abuser), father-daughter love/ dislove (where one daughter separated from the father due to his alleged killing of her mother) and lesbian love (2 ladies loving one lady).

The clashes and conflicts that came:
One sister wants to protect her sister from abuse and is ok with killing her husband while the abused sister wants to continue her troubled relationship with her husband. Priority and purpose of love.

One lady loving another while a stranger loves the same girl. Competition in love.

A father wants to protect her daughter from cops while she says mum about the killing of the mother and others by her dad. Love to not hurt.

The conflicts came when one love or the purpose of one love came in confrontation or a higher priority of another love.

In modern worlds, these conflicting loves are there but not shown explicitly.

One of the most common substitutes of love is giving time. When one relationship gets more time (or assumedly more time than required) than another, this comes as a conflict in love. These relationships could be grandparent-parent v/s parent-child v/s parent-in laws v/s spouse-spouse v/s friends time v/s relaxation or hobby time.

It is almost impossible not to have conflicts with the limited resources of time.

How we keep what relationships we want for the future, manage/reduce the non-value added relationships to get what we want out of life is the question.