Friday, August 1, 2014

Call centers face mass exodus after govt. starts recruiting monkey mimics

Employees from various Gurgaon based call centers have started tendering their resignations after the new government has announced new jobs employing people to wear langur costumes and scare away monkeys.
An Gurgaon based call center employee has this to say on being asked why the monkey mimicing job was so popular: "The job is so lucrative. It pays me more than a fresher in a call center and there are fixed timings and only day shifts. Whats not to like."

A HR person of the call center said, "This is going to create a lot of fresh problems to the call center businesses. We continuously train a lot of freshers for doing a variety of monkey jobs at our office. Now with this job opening, we fear many of our excellent employees may leave us for these jobs. There is  going to be a fresh talent shortage in the near term."

The mad rush of applications received by the government has put it in a tizzy. Some minority groups have already started asking for a quota for the new jobs. A spokesperson of the leading political party in the central government said "The new government had promised to bring new jobs to the economy. This is the first major step we have taken towards creating new jobs."

The HRD minister commented on the same issue: "You know how Indian kids are. Right from school days, they start making monkey faces. They have a natural talent of it and we recognise that such talent should not be wasted and could be put to good use this way." Going on the way forward on other initiatives proposed by the government, she said, "We are also looking at many zoos in India where are not enough animals on display. We have set up a inter-ministerial committee to work out the details on people to mimic other animals and provide them employment in the zoos."

One of the elderly retired residents in the areas which are populated by monkeys had this to say, "This should be extended beyond the parliament to other areas also. I have wondered at times, how to effectively contribute to my society. I think I will try to take this job as this will satisfy my need to contribute to the society. We also have a lot of young boys and girls doing nothing useful loitering around in colleges. Maybe this should be made compulsory for a few days a year for all students as part of CSR activity of colleges and schools."

Meanwhile, an elderly group of monkeys has heard chattering somewhere near the parliament: "These langurs are bigger, but dont climb or run with the four legs like the old ones." "I saw one with a human head and a langur body" "I went near one langur and there was the 'yaar na mile' song coming from it".

Maybe the monkeys will soon figure out the plot and monkey mimicing plan would bomb back on us soon.

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