Sunday, September 28, 2008

Weird job advertisements of the week

Colorado: Tiffany & Co. Diamond Jewelery and Diamond Ring

Jewelry that I have for trade:

-A women’s diamond ring with 7 round cut diamonds in 14k white gold, (from the day we got engaged) -An 18k yellow gold cross necklace with 11 diamonds, (from the night I caught him lying about staying late at the office. You don’t come back from a late office meeting with Johnie Walker on your breath and lipstick on your abdomen, no sirree)

-A Tiffany & Co. Elsa Peretti open heart necklace in sterling silver, (from the night I found a studded leather g-string in his dirty laundry, which he said was just a designer storage bag for his spare laptop battery)

-A Tiffany & Co. Return to Tiffanys bracelet in sterling silver, (from the day he bought a 1967 Corvette without asking me first)

-And a Tiffany & Co. 18k yellow gold ring with a single diamond. (from our wedding day)

I would be interested in trading for a nice men’s watch or ring. Also interested in a rifle or shotgun or a handgun in nice condition. (I will lure him into our bedroom and present him with a gift. I will then shoot him in the head and drive the Corvette to Mexico)


Virginia: Victoria’s Secret- The worlds sexiest lingerie brand is hiring!!!!

Victoria’s Secret- The worlds sexiest lingerie brand is hiring!!! We are currently looking for part time sales associates, stock associates, and merchandising crew to join our team!!!! If you are energetic, love fashion, enjoy working with people and are looking for a fast paced work environment then we are looking for you!!! Please stop in the store to fill out an application or forward your resume for consideration! Please be enthusiastic!!! And at last a 36C!!!

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